Uncharmed.

The best way to say, "sex with you is too expensive" is a diamond.

Indeed.

Money is the male equivalent of a cleavage. 

Epiphany.

There are only two types of girls - good & very good. All girls are good till they prove to be very good.

'

I believe in Karma - You'll never get what you cannot give.

?

If I don't hold my breath, how will I relish the moment when she takes it away?

-x-

Stupid straight men are the same as smart gay men – both settle a dispute by exchanging blows.

:D

Sulabh Shauchalaya - India's Johnny Cash.

This is India.

We’re corrupt.

We’re petty.

We’re easily separated on religion, region or language.

We’re racists.

We’re elitist.

We’re a thriving mushroom plantation of exaggerated clichés.

We’re violent.

We’re intolerant.

We represent the bedrock of dirty politics.

You could also call us the Divided States of India.

We’re everything that could go wrong with a democracy.

And we’re everything else that could be worse.

We’re a nation that thrives on television series and reality shows that represent nothing but the miserable fabric of society. We take pleasure in another man’s failure.

We’re sadists and we’re cynics.

We were the land that gave human spirit the constitution of Karma.

We’re also the ones who manipulated it into convenient Karma.

And we’re living happily ever after.

All these are universal truths. And if you have any doubt about aforesaid, any leading newspaper or news channel will make you a believer.

We’re a nation of witch hunters and misery seekers.

But there is also another truth.

One that’s much larger in canvas, and impossible to deny.

We’re Indian.

Every fucking one of us.

And while the media does what it does, and politicians screw up what they can, we make fine spectators who indulge our mob fury.

By proxy.

The CWG was not a disaster to start with. It was made into one.

And each of us, is responsible for the apathy and lack of morale.

We didn’t switch off the channels when shit was flying. We didn’t hold candlelight vigil at the venue to pray, wish or show support for anything.

Town planners, architects, doctors, technologists, former athletes, celebrities, social commentators nobody volunteered. But each and every one of them mentioned did move heaven and earth for lucrative contracts.

This is India.

Where we still  have a fixation with kissing the western ass.

Not the politicians, us, you and me.

BBC releases fake pictures of the games village, our media goes to town with it.

BBC takes off the pictures, sacks the erroneous reporter and our media forgets about it.

Not one beacon of truth that unravels facts who call themselves journalists; takes BBC to task.

As the Joker would have asked “Did our balls just fall off?”

Some Indians, who can only see the bad that there is, and have determined blindness towards any shred of positivity towards this country, I have advice for you.

Leave. Fuck off. Take your elitist opinion and shove in every orifice you have.

Of course you’re educated, good looking, talented, well to do, getting lots of sex, blah blah blah….sort of people.  So leaving would be so much easier for you.

If only you tried. Seriously. Get out.

Because we don’t stop being Indians just because we fuck up so often.

And your negativity, which satiates the greed of media, which shows you crap that you want to see, is doing nothing but slowing down whatever will or effort we have to get better.

So please, leave, shoo.

But before you leave, remember one thing.

There is no exit clause for nationality.

You’re a brown skinned Indian here.

You will be a brown skinned Indian there.

But that also has its benefit for you. You get an instant lifestyle promotion, no doubt.

You will be a second rate resident in their country.

Which is much better than being a third rate citizen in your own.

Flight of fancy

You're never really wise till you've visited a fool's paradise.

Déjà Là

The feeling that this is going to happen again.

Tweet

If you ever wondered who invents / comes up with the text messaging jokes, you’ve never really been on twitter.

Twitter is where you see sharp wit at its best. People from all walks of life will surprise you with their opinions, which are sarcastic and enlightening at the same time.

But one has to remember, twitter is NOT a social networking site. It’s a micro blogging site.

Twitter is NOT for chats. It’s for conversations. And knowledge sharing by way of links.

One of the greatest by products of twitter is the URL shortener. 140 Character limit has led to further creativity with people inventing tags that make up for a whole lot of space. For eg. #FacePalm is a short for ‘How could you make such a moronic statement that makes me want to bang my head or yours preferably against the wall’.

People who come to twitter seeking to make new friends or seek relationships are instantly branded as #Orchutiyas which politely means descendants of the Orkut kind of socializing, with a little Indian colour added.

On an average, 20 tweets a day would be considered extravagant. But if some intense subject props up, or an interesting #HashTag trends, the number could go up to 100 or more.

Twitter is where you show off without worrying about showing off. You can be nasty without being looked down upon.

And this brings us to another startling fact. Which tells us more about people than we ideally would have wanted to know.

The fact being that twitter is the place where people with absolutely abysmal social or inter personal skills are rockstars.

Let me explain.

In a human society, there are many dynamics at play. And emotions are at the top of the food chain. One needs to be correct, polite, affectionate, sensitive, understanding, and quick witted. And a whole lot more.

But on twitter, because the medium is passive, you can rise above all these lacunae and express yourself without being apologetic. Twitter festers apathy. Twitter allows you to get away with anything without tact. And twitter gives you an alternate universe where in 140 characters you can show yourself to be someone you’re not.

There are people who wish they were actually doing the things they tweet about. And then there are those who do things just so they can tweet about it. At all times, catering to an audience. And get retweeted to become popular.

Retweets are horses. Meeks are studs. #SixWordStory

The whole world is a stage. And the truth is that 95% people suffer from stage fright. Where the sight of an audience makes them forget their lines.

Twitter allows people to take the stage by proxy.

Yet, twitter has far greater potential than a micro blogging site alone. Twitter is probably the only real threat to google.

You see, search is increasingly becoming context driven. And while a google search may throw up a million results, frankly, I don’t have the time for it. I need filtered results with some relevant links, thank you. And twitter does that.

Try it. Search for anything on google and on twitter simultaneously and you will be a believer.

And in today’s time and age, if someone is not on twitter, they are living in digital denial.

Nothing in the world is heavier than an empty heart.

Nothing.

Déjà vu

The moment where skeletons in the closet start talking to voices in the head.

Imponderable

The trouble with group sex is that you never really know where to put your elbows.

#Fact

Computers spare men from making a lot of unnecessary conjectures. So do bikinis.

Junoon

Jab aarzoo mein wajood ho,
to havaayein bhi saans rok leti hain.

#SixWordStory

Forget me. I was faking it.

#SixWordStory

Beautiful Imperfections. Because Devils need advocates.

#SixWordStory

Heart in gear. Brain in neutral.

#SixWordStory

Love is overrated. Pain is underrated.

#Fact

Fame is the ability to dominate a conversation in your absence.

Faded Ink

The new ad for Idea mobile where the world saves newsprint and used the mobile instead, is fantastic. You see, it illustrates a serious truth. One that we don’t seem to want to do anything about.

No, I am not talking about the environment here. It’s grimmer than that.

Newspapers are not worth reading anymore. One would have to be seriously optimistic to open the newspaper or flick on a news channel to get anything worth the time.

There ads, yes. Lots of them. And there’s tons and tons of crap. I guess circulation and TRPs make more business sense than anything else.

Yes, one can argue about the actual news items that make up the functionary bit. Because that is all there is to it. There is no journalistic perspective; there is no analysis of the happenings. There is just clear information that any account executive can put together like the minutes of a meeting. And there is the vagueness. The kinds that really does not warrant newsprint.

Ink is valuable. Ink on paper is sacred. Good reporting does not only uphold the truth but it pushes the whole society forward. But all that is ‘idealistic’ stuff that does not work for the ‘business’. Unless the media can take up a ‘crusade’ that promises to generate more eyeballs. Or pick on Shashi Tharoor. Anything at all as long as it's close to entertainment and away from news. Like the magazine sections, where gossip of all nature takes birth.

Twitter updates on the other hand are far more reliable for the latest happenings. For one, they are quicker. And have very little bullshit. Second, they are honest straight from the heart opinions by logical people who feel strongly about something.

That is analysis. As simple as that.

Every educated person can make a fantastic writer. It just takes linguistic common sense. From there, the road forks. The artisans and craftsmen write ads, films, songs and books. And the ones with less art and more balls to perform a greater selfless good, become journalists.

By the looks of it, the fourth estate is now well within grasp of the third gender.

Safe`yd

Kora kohra har taraaf, kora hai jahaan,
kori kori dhadkan hai, kori daastaan.

Kagaz ke panne aur pyar waali baatein,
kohra chhaya jab se hai,
safe`yd ho gayee raatein.